To the Guy Who Mugged Me...

[Big John]

Allegedly from the Savannah, GA Craig's list:

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah )


I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace! - Alex

 

[Plymouthfan]

That is AWESOME!!!!!!!! :worship:

 

[Roadcuda]

I don't know if that's a true story or not, but it does give an interesting twist! :banana:

 

[Hoosier Bird]

I love it. That would be so cool..... :cool:

 

[Basketcase]

there was a carjacking in Columbus a couple of weeks ago. along with the guys BMW, they took the guy's cell. At dinner that night, some of his friends got the idea to text his cell, and invite the owner to a party with girls and drugs. the moron theves showed up, and insted of girls and drugs,the Columbus PD was waiting for them.

 

[Confederate1969]

One of my peers in back high school had a souped up import of some sort, fart cannon and all that. Well anyway, one day it got stolen out of his driveway. He had insurance so, he was able to recoup some money for it, but he was pretty miffed about losing the car since he had put some work into it. About a year or two later, he was at a local club with some friends and as they were leaving the place, they happened to spot what looked like his previously stolen car in the parking lot. He hadn't yet removed his key to the car from his keyring, so just for grins they tried the lock and it happened to fit, so it turned out to be his car. Well, needless to say he called the cops and they waited till the punks who stole his car came out from the club and they got nailed. :haha: :lock:

Here's the kicker. Those idiots that stole the car had put a top of the line stereo system worth thousands in the car and had added several other extra mods. So he got his car back, but not after getting about ten grand in free upgrades. :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

[Roadcuda]

One of my peers in back high school had a souped up import of some sort, fart cannon and all that. Well anyway, one day it got stolen out of his driveway. He had insurance so, he was able to recoup some money for it, but he was pretty miffed about losing the car since he had put some work into it. About a year or two later, he was at a local club with some friends and as they were leaving the place, they happened to spot what looked like his previously stolen car in the parking lot. He hadn't yet removed his key to the car from his keyring, so just for grins they tried the lock and it happened to fit, so it turned out to be his car. Well, needless to say he called the cops and they waited till the punks who stole his car came out from the club and they got nailed. :haha: :lock:

Here's the kicker. Those idiots that stole the car had put a top of the line stereo system worth thousands in the car and had added several other extra mods. So he got his car back, but not after getting about ten grand in free upgrades. :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Now, that's what I call justice.

 

[Big John]

One of my peers in back high school had a souped up import of some sort, fart cannon and all that. Well anyway, one day it got stolen out of his driveway. He had insurance so, he was able to recoup some money for it, but he was pretty miffed about losing the car since he had put some work into it. About a year or two later, he was at a local club with some friends and as they were leaving the place, they happened to spot what looked like his previously stolen car in the parking lot. He hadn't yet removed his key to the car from his keyring, so just for grins they tried the lock and it happened to fit, so it turned out to be his car. Well, needless to say he called the cops and they waited till the punks who stole his car came out from the club and they got nailed. :haha: :lock:

Here's the kicker. Those idiots that stole the car had put a top of the line stereo system worth thousands in the car and had added several other extra mods. So he got his car back, but not after getting about ten grand in free upgrades. :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Similar story... A friend had a 67 GTX stolen back in the early seventies. Months later, he was out in a little town and happened to see a car just like his pass the other direction. He was looking for another one to buy and he chased it down.. It turned out to be his old car. It had been repainted and it was a lot better then when he had it.

He still owns the car and the last time I saw it, it still had the same paint!

 

[mcmopar]

Something similar happened to a friend of mine some years back. He and his wife and baby son were down in south Florida (West Palm Beach or thereabouts) visiting his wife's parents and they went to a Wal-Mart. His wife went in and he stayed outside with his baby son waiting for her. They had a van at the time with running boards and he felt the van rock a little bit. He thought it might be her pranking him but instead he was surprised to see a young black guy standing at his driver's window (the window was down) with a knife demanding my buddy get out of the van. My friend reached down to the console where he had his pistol sitting (it wasn't secured in the glove box) and raised it right into the guy's face between his eyes and asked "rob who?" The gun barrel could not have been 6 inches from the bridge of the would be robber's nose. The idiot would be robber blurted out "sorry - wrong car!" and ran off like the little school girl he was. He was very lucky my friend did not just blow him away right then and there. I can imagine he had to change his pants as well!

 

[ACME A12]

I don't know if that's a true story or not, but it does give an interesting twist! :banana:

Ditto!

 

[John69RR]

Good stories. I particulary liked the "wrong car" phrase.

 

[Hoosier Bird]

Ok guys....I'm looking at buying a new pistol. I'm kinda tore between a Ruger LCP .380 and a Beretta Tomcat .32 caliber. Just thought I would ask your oppinion. You may even have a better choice. :brickwall: I also hear the Kel Tec .380 is a nice piece.

 

[Big John]

I looked at a Kel Tec a couple months ago. Its a nice little gun, in fact its the back-up weapon of choice for the local cops. Its very small and light, with a pocket clip.