moparstuart
Well-Known Member
*7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children*
*A** little girl was talking to her teacher about
whales.*
*The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human because even though it was
a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will
ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.*
*A** Kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of children while they were drawing. She
would occasionally walk around to see each child's
work.
As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'**
**
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what
God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'*
* **A** Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of
a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'*
* **O**ne day a little girl was sitting and watching
her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She
suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her
brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of
my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a
while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of
grandma's hairs are white?'*
* **T**he children had all been photographed, and
the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy
a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer,
she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor..'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And
there's the teacher, she's dead.'*
* **A** teacher was giving a lesson on the
circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter
clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and
I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.**
**
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my
feet?'
A little fellow shouted,**
**'Cause your feet ain't empty.'*
I LIKE THE NEXT ONE IN PARTICULAR
* **T**he children were lined up in the cafeteria of
a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head
of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'**
**
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God
is watching the apples.'*
* **I**t doesn't matter how many people you send
this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your
friends will laugh too.*
*A** little girl was talking to her teacher about
whales.*
*The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human because even though it was
a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will
ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.*
*A** Kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of children while they were drawing. She
would occasionally walk around to see each child's
work.
As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'**
**
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what
God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'*
* **A** Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of
a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'*
* **O**ne day a little girl was sitting and watching
her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She
suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her
brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of
my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a
while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of
grandma's hairs are white?'*
* **T**he children had all been photographed, and
the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy
a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer,
she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor..'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And
there's the teacher, she's dead.'*
* **A** teacher was giving a lesson on the
circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter
clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and
I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.**
**
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my
feet?'
A little fellow shouted,**
**'Cause your feet ain't empty.'*
I LIKE THE NEXT ONE IN PARTICULAR
* **T**he children were lined up in the cafeteria of
a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head
of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'**
**
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God
is watching the apples.'*
* **I**t doesn't matter how many people you send
this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your
friends will laugh too.*