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Halloween jokes

moparstuart

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Halloween Costume - IRS Agent


The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this

plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!"


The man asks the kids what he's dressed up like for

Halloween. The kid says, "I'm an IRS agent." Then he takes

28% of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say Thank You.



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Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating


10. You get winded from knocking on the door.


9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.


8. You ask for high fiber candy only.


7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.


6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.


5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.


4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.


3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.


2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with awalker.


1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.



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Top Ten Reasons Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex


10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.


9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.


8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.


7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.


6. The person giving you candy doesn't fantasize you're someone else.


5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.


4. If you wear a Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.


3. It doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.


2. Less guilt the next morning.


1. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door
 
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