moparstuart
Well-Known Member
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa
Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the
dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and
supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a
house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite
period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid
and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a
tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start
with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as
a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance
surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the
near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about
yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted
very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author
of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee
intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
(This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when
everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then,
like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event
of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of
stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic
dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider
web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of
a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and
cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you
turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published
the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners
are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one
coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by
discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of
ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an
explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly
answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored
mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that
picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding
hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on
an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified
bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian
proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles
his conversation with yiddishisms
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief
that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n . An opening in the
front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the
dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and
supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a
house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite
period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid
and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a
tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start
with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as
a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance
surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the
near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about
yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted
very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author
of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee
intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
(This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when
everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then,
like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event
of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of
stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic
dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider
web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of
a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and
cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you
turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published
the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners
are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one
coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by
discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of
ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an
explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly
answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored
mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that
picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding
hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on
an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified
bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian
proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles
his conversation with yiddishisms
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief
that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n . An opening in the
front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.