smarter then a 3rd grader

[moparstuart]

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what' s your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office..

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was... The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9.'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs...'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: ! 'Pants.'

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains20thin, whitish liquid?'

Harry: 'Coconut.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......'

 

[ACME A12]

That's pretty good!

I got the last seven wrong too...

:jester:

 

[Roadcuda]

Beleive it or not I got those answers, and I can add a few. Years ago I knew of a, IIRC it was like a drinking club, called the Turtle Club. If you saw a fellow member and asked him if they were a Turtle, that had to answer, "You bet your sweet ass I am." If they didn't answer then they owed you a drink. These questions were asked with the idea the Turtle members alway thought cleanly so these questions would lead the perverted to dirty answer when there was a clean answer. Some of there were variants of some I know, such as, What's a 4 letter work ending in K that means intercourse? Talk! Other questions are, What's long and round and has seamen in it? A Submarine! Then there's What's round and bald, and sticks out of a man pajamas far enough to hang a hat on? His head! Those are just a few and there are more, but I can't remember the others right now.

 

[ACME A12]

Years ago I knew of a, IIRC it was like a drinking club, called the Turtle Club. If you saw a fellow member and asked him if they were a Turtle, that had to answer, "You bet your sweet ass I am." If they didn't answer then they owed you a drink.

And what happened if you asked the wrong guy and they weren't a member...???

:jester:

 

[Roadcuda]

Years ago I knew of a, IIRC it was like a drinking club, called the Turtle Club. If you saw a fellow member and asked him if they were a Turtle, that had to answer, "You bet your sweet ass I am." If they didn't answer then they owed you a drink.

And what happened if you asked the wrong guy and they weren't a member...???

:jester:

As I remember it, you wouldn't ask just anyone. You would already know who the members are in your area. It was a thing to put people on the spot. One story that was told is of two members who run into each other on an airplane. One was seated next to a nun when they were asked the question. This is the perfect situation to see if they will answer correctly. Well of course they were hesitant to answer because of the nun. As they looked uneasily over at the nun she said, "it's ok to answer my child. I'm one too!"

 

[ACME A12]

Hey Steve, here's one of those for you...

What gets long when you jerk it and fits between a woman's tits?


I'll give you a little while to contemplate that one..

:jester:

 

[Roadcuda]

Hey Steve, here's one of those for you...

What gets long when you jerk it and fits between a woman's tits?


I'll give you a little while to contemplate that one..

:jester:

I've got brain fade on this one, it's got to be something like a telescoping binocular.

 

[69hemibeep]

Well

 

[ACME A12]

...A SEAT BELT...!

:jester:

 

[69hemibeep]

...A SEAT BELT...!

:jester:

 

[Roadcuda]

...A SEAT BELT...!

:jester:

shoulda, known!