Search results

Traveling through the Midwest, I stopped at an Ohio welcome center to pick up a state map. I found plenty of brochures but no maps. Then I spotted two employees and asked whether they had any. “Sure,” said the first guy. “I’ll get you one.” As he walked to the back, the second guy explained, “We...

It always irked my single mother that her grocery store didn’t carry eggs in packages of six—just by the dozen. Then one day, her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six. “I was so excited,” she told us later, “that I bought two!"

Since the coronavirus outbreak, my 47-year-old son has been washing his hands religiously. In fact, he said, “I’ve been washing my hands so much, I found the answers to an old eighth-grade math quiz.”

I tried having my mother’s phone disconnected, but the customer-service rep told me that since the account was in my dad’s name, he’d have to be the one to put in the request. The fact that he’d been dead for 40 years didn’t sway her. Then a solution hit me: “If I stop paying the bill, you can...

why the decoding section does not work?

Why the calendar is not updated here on the site ??? It still shows 2016 only ?? Or it only at me such problem ???

:beep::beep::beep::beep::beep::beep:

http://youtu.be/NgeIqfYsSFA

Italian said yesterday I drank with Russians, I thought I would die:angel::sada::nopity:. today, too, drank with Russians would be better if I died:angel::sada::nopity: yesterday.

• You lose arguments with inanimate objects. • You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. • Job interfering with your drinking. • Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. • Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts. • The...

Three men, a Jewish man, a Catholic man, and a Mormon man, were having drinks at the bar following a business meeting. The Jewish man, bragging about his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team!" The Catholic man pooh-poohed this accomplishment...

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in...

Two rednecks were sitting in a bar discussing their favorite sex positions. One of them says, "I think rodeo would have to my favorite". The other one says, "I've never heard of that one, what is it?" So the first guy says, "You sit on your wife's back with your hands on her boobs and say...

Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she notices four legs instead of two! She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters...

During the economy crisis in Greece two local businessmen chat: - Do you pay for your employees? - Nope, haven't paid them for months. - But they still come to work, don't they? - Yes, they do. - Mines come too. We should try charging them for coming. After a month they meet again: - So...

Little Johnny returns from school and says: - Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often! - But I hope you are not writing them, my son. - No, I'm dictating them!

There was this guy that went to the doctor to get is sperm counted.The lady behind the desk handed him a jar and said, "Bring it back tomorrow, full." He says, "Okay, I'll be back tomorrow then." Well he goes home and comes back the next day, and he hands the woman the jar. She says...

A young girl goes to her doctor. The doctor runs some tests and tells her she is pregnant. The girl says, "I can't be! The only men I've been around are nudists from my colony, and we only practice sex with our eyes." "Well, my dear," says the doctor, "Someone in that colony must be...

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday...

One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't...