Mel69rrvert
Well-Known Member
I know that I will be flammed for post old jokes so I figured I may as well post 3 at one time :jester: :jester: :jester:
1. Subject: Irish Firefighter
Paddy was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to New York when he rounds a corner and there's a high rise building on fire.
Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman,
runs up to the building to see if he can help and notices people trapped five stories up.
Paddy yells to the people, "I'm Paddy Michael Fitzpatrick, an Irish Fire Fighter on holiday. I'm also a Rugby Union fullback! If you jump, I'll catch you!"
One lady, in desperation, jumps and sure enough Paddy catches her.
Then a man sees that Paddy catches the woman and jumps.. Sure enough, Paddy catches him as well.
Then Obama jumps out and crashes to the sidewalk.
Paddy didn't even attempt to catch him.
Paddy looks up and yells,
"Don't be throwin'down the burnt ones...!!!!"
#2. The Irish Brothel
Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel across the road.
The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.
"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman. "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites dem odder religions are?"
No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door, knocks, and goes inside.
"Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"
They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar and the rabbi when they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door
"Ah, now dat's sad." says the third Irishman. "One of the girls must have died!”
#3 IRISH JOKE
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's
to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs
of me wife
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best
toast of the night !
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the
prize for the Best toast of The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled
leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit
surprised myself. You know, he's only been in
there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell
asleep".
1. Subject: Irish Firefighter
Paddy was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to New York when he rounds a corner and there's a high rise building on fire.
Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman,
runs up to the building to see if he can help and notices people trapped five stories up.
Paddy yells to the people, "I'm Paddy Michael Fitzpatrick, an Irish Fire Fighter on holiday. I'm also a Rugby Union fullback! If you jump, I'll catch you!"
One lady, in desperation, jumps and sure enough Paddy catches her.
Then a man sees that Paddy catches the woman and jumps.. Sure enough, Paddy catches him as well.
Then Obama jumps out and crashes to the sidewalk.
Paddy didn't even attempt to catch him.
Paddy looks up and yells,
"Don't be throwin'down the burnt ones...!!!!"
#2. The Irish Brothel
Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel across the road.
The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.
"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman. "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites dem odder religions are?"
No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door, knocks, and goes inside.
"Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"
They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar and the rabbi when they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door
"Ah, now dat's sad." says the third Irishman. "One of the girls must have died!”
#3 IRISH JOKE
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's
to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs
of me wife
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best
toast of the night !
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the
prize for the Best toast of The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled
leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit
surprised myself. You know, he's only been in
there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell
asleep".
3 