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Two blonde's were walking along a river on opposite sides and in opposite directions. As they reached the same point on the river, one of them decided that it would be nice if she could walk with her blonde friend on the other side, so she waved to get her attention, then yelled, "Hey, how do I...

THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on Snopes and it's for real! AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES: 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE...

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And then the fight started........

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?' That's how the fight started.

The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name sailor?" "John" the new seaman replied. "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name." the chief...

Guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there’s a robot bartender! The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Whiskey.” The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says,” 168.” The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and...

Afternoon Sex The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all of the neighborhood activities. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. He...

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?", says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with damn and you...

Mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the Nuts...

Ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old. Well . . . you'll love this one. My name is Alice , and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name...

Hi everyone, I've been cleaning out my garage and I have two thumbwheel radios that I'm thinking about selling. One is AM and the second is AM/8 track. To my knowledge, neither one of them works, but they appear to look okay from the outside. I also found an AM radio from an E body car. It...

Two sharks, a father and his son, are swimming along one day when the younger one spots two people swimming on the surface. The younger one says, "come on dad, let's go up and eat 'em". The older shark says, "not so fast son, there's a certain routine that we have to follow before we eat them"...

I live in the Cincinnati area and have owned my 69 Road Runner convertible since 1983. I got lucky and bought it while I was still in the service in Albuquerque, NM. It was, at the time, just a run-out old convertible and I bought it for $1,200.00. I did some quick bodywork/paint and a new...